#Poetry: Experience: Life's Essence? - by Stefn Sylvester Anyatonwu

My life has been romantic,
Experiences -
Ugly and hurting too.
From this experiences,
I understood
the essence of living,
the providence of Divinity,
the danger of focusing,
only on what isn't really there.

What if I came to the tail end
of my life
and realized
that I'd spent all my days
looking at a moon that never shines,
watching for a star that twinkles not,
waiting for a dame who would never come to me,
or hoping South could go North?
I'll beat my heart in anguish -
for I'll be of all most foolish.

What an unbearable sorrow it would be,
to realize
I'd never really tasted the things I'd eaten,
Seen the places I'd been,
Felt the things I've handled,
because I'd thought of nothing
but just existing
like the dog across the street
even while my life was drifting away from me,
minute by minute,
while I slept and dreamt of rest.

And yet...
if I withdraw my thoughts from her,
what life would I have?
Would that count to be a life well spent?
Will I receive golden accolades?
I would be like a piper
who had practiced since infant
for a flute he would never pipe.

And now I only can understand myself
only after the wasted years
I have destroyed myself.
And now I have to fix myself
but cannot really tell
who I was,
who I want to be
and who I would've been.

Dear Experience,
I love you
but I doubt you love me too.
While I try to believe you do,
can you find me a place,
a quiet place
where I can get lost?
I can tell who really I was,
Just say yes.

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