DEAR DIARY MY HEART ACHES - Stefn Sylvester Anyatonwu


Dear diary,

You will not believe this. I'm speechless but I'll try ink out my heart. Pray I make sense to you. 
Damn premonition! Damn doctrine! Yeah, darn 'em all! 

You see? I'm mad, although I don’t know who I'm mad at and why I'm mad. (Chuckles) Not funny, huh?
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Well... it happened. You remember what I told you few months ago? Now I can boldly tell the taste of bitter-sweet coz it's after taste rests carefreely on the tip of my tongue. I can’t find my diamonds anymore. I’m sure I left it in somewhere close to the Sahara. Methinks Pirates of the Sands, or say, tomb raiders, paid a visit to my pyramids and took my diamonds away on a cart of well doctored doctrine. 


Can perceive it’s aura somewhere near the gates but can’t pick its location because the unsteady North-South wind thinks it fun to mess with the aroma. 
Its 3rd March… yet it seems like forever. There isn't no perfect date to gulp a date down the thirsty throat of perceived piety. 
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I think I’m born unlucky. 
My mind is shaken.
Shoulders dropped… I look like a sober drunk crept out of a ditch while dragging my depressed self back home tonight. My bed, it gives me no more comfort. The silence in my room is as loud as the cacophony of voices in my head.
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Guess where I am right now! I’m out on the streets. I want to be alone with you. Want to drop a tear for a full stop as I ink you this where no prying eyes shall see, sigh or smell something fishy. It’s cold. It’s dark. The little stone at the foot of the street light gives more comfy to my butt than my bed, tonight, can boast of. 
The street light… I strain teary eyeballs to pen this down.
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You are the friend… the only friend I’ve got left, dear diary. You are the only lover of which I never can be bereft. I know I have never jotted this long in you but tonight… it’s different. How I feel, it’s real, deep, and so deep. I’m going to break down in tears if I dare fling off the veil of parables and state my present state in common words. Though I wonder why I should let a tear drop or heave a sigh. I hear my heart beat like the sound of explosives. My silence is just another word for My Pain.


Isn’t it a norm,? Isn’t it a scene in my every script that cannot be skipped? Who do I show restrain in painting another initials after the fair previous once-upon-a-time?
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Dear, diary… the stars came out before the night. And now the night must remain starless as long as doctrine messes with our weak and mortal wandering hearts and hell-scarred souls. Do you know, dear diary, it's so hard to forget someone who gave you so much to remember?
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Meanwhile, diary mine… It’s getting cold out here. I wonder whether my knocking knees can drag me home for my heart aches.
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I choose to subscribe to common sense, rather than meddle with the opinions of a cassock. Oh diary… don’t weep for me. Let the sun suck on your tears. 
Yes, I know… the myths and legends I told them. 
The sweet tales I did tell...
The poems I inked...
What will they make of me? A dreamer? Another dreamer in coats of may hues? They can cast their stones. But my bag of diamonds must be found. I’m running, not away but towards the pirates with eyes fixed on the diamond. 
No… I’ll let it go and lie to myself that it’s right there, in the closet of my heart’s dept. 
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Dear diary… it's Thursday, wish me well whilst on journey on time's healing wings.



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